P45 for Coronation Street characters

[Adonis]

The characters I would kill off in Coronation Street:

Dreary Deidre.... and her ma
Sally and her annoying children....
Get rid of Kevin too...
Whatshername who runs the Kabin and attempted suicide badly a weeok or two ago
Spider and his fat ugly bird Toyah
Actually add all the Battersbys.....
Florence and his annnoying annoying wife Gail

thats enough for now......


i propose a bus plunge.....

[Elimare]

Is this open to any soap? (Deadenders, Home and Awry, etc.) Or just limited to Coro?

[John F Kennedy]

Can we retrospectively kill off all of "Bracken"?

[Jack_Bastard]

Gawd if were talking Eastenders can we have the whole extended Fowler (or Boweler) family killed of, especially Ian and can we throw in Bianca as well, she makes me urge.
And bring back Nick es a good un.

[Dolly]

pity Leanne Battersby didnt get it during the robbery of The Rover's Return...

[micko]

they MUST kill....

Sally webster's evil daughter, and her boyfriend. Oh, and sally. And gayle and martin's new kids. and martin's bit on the side. and martin and gail.

and curly and raquel after that awful "special" at xmas

that bloke with the twins who lost his boring wife.

mike baldwin's slapper and his son mark

ashley's cute but dim wife maxine

any foreign wingey bloke who becomes the boyfriend of deirdre or audrey

AND THAT JUST LEAVES:

albert tatlock, uncle fred, rita and that anarcho-terrorist emily bishop.

[micko]

Busaras has shouted across the street that uncle albert has passed away of course.

Well smartypants, albert tatlock might be a stiff but he's got a lot more life in him that most of that shower currently on the show....

[wolfbag]

That sibling-murdering cow that Kevin is boffing, yer wan that looks like a cabbage patch doll...she gives me such a pain in me arse...though she's pretty sure to snuff it shortly as Kevin is due another good kick in the teeth soon.

[Elimare]

My predilictions fer the next 6 months of Coro... (or so)

Alison and Kevin, and the slapper and Mike will have a double wedding, which mike will pay for after a lot of complaining. (a la eastenders)

Alison will die while giving birth, either that or lose the baby. (someone's gonna die anyway.)

The strange woman who showed up in the shop last night will turn out to be an ex of yer man (can't remember his name, Vic and Nita's cousin who bought the shop) Anyway there will be a 'Saskia-esque' storyline there, she's an obsessive, he's gonna kill her and bury her in the Red Rec.

Denise and wotzisname will move in together, but his daughter will show up and despise Denise.

Toyah will leave Spider for Tyrone. (simply because their names fit so well together.) and Monica the Dog will make a come-back as the fastest dog in weatherfield.

Gail will get a haircut, her new vivacious image will be noticed by Mike Baldwin and they will have an affair much to the consternation of Emily Bishop.

Spider and Curly will lead an eco-warrior revolt against Jez and his coke-dealing friends. Steve will appear as the hero of the hour, by saving Leanne. After this the two will be inseperable.

Sharon will re-appear completely broke and with stories of how the hubbie ran off with a younger woman. Rita will give her the shop. (AGAIN)

And finally,
Curly will finally get laid, but he'll contract a nasty disease which he spreads around Weatherfiled, resulting in a spin-off series, as all the original characters have been killed off...

[Joefuz]

Ah no. As long as Ken Barlow is still there, things'll still carry on as usual.

[Banshee]

Well Ken Barlow's always gonna be there because, Ken Barlow actually died during the mid-80's but as he was involved in Deirdreeee-Ken-trauma-blah-blah extravaganza Granada TV thought it would be a good idea to get him "stuffed and mounted" so to speak in order that he could see the trauma to the bitter end...apparently viewers didn't actually notice any difference whatsoever, and so he remains, a perpetual monument to the mundane, and dead cheap too as they stopped his wages when he copped it...

Not many people know that...

[Stottle]

Apparently Dot Cotton from Eastenders is also dead, and they have turned her into a glove puppet. Some poor chap has to stick his hand up her arse every episode.

[wolfbag]

Is that why she's so good at doing the 'startled' face about 8 times per episode?

[Silent Peeper]

As a long time 'Peeping Tom' on P45 I am horrified at how much you all know about the characters in these shows. I've never seen any of them (not b'cast in HK) but if you know the characters so well then you must have enjoyed, or at least, watched them for ages.

OK, now I'll go back into my 'peeping' mode again!

[micko]

we don't actually watch these shows - they just flow over us. And EastEnders was crap after Dirty Den left

[Joefuz]

But who were that ciuple with the daffodils hiding the machine gun that killed him?

[Elimare]

huh? daffodils? machine guns? before my time defo... I was probably suffering the antics of the 'General Hospital' and 'Days of our Lives' crowd...

[Banshee]

Oh c'maaaan we're all closet Corrie fans really aren't we? AREN'T WE???

[Elimare]

Speaking of Dirty Den and the Deadenders crew, here's my predictions for the summer...

Pat "are these earrings big enough" Butcher and young Stephen go off to visit Simon who is emigrating. Simon (the return of Nick Berry) has a change of heart, moves to Walford and begins a custody battle with Ian.

Meanwhile Ian has gone completely bonkers, selling things in his pound shop for a mere 99p, and standing outside Melanie's window screaming her name a la Stallone in Rocky (aaaaadrienne! aaaadrienne! for those who were too young.)

Melanie gets an eyeful of Simon and falls in love with him, driving Ian to complete insanity, he hires the same hitman who tried to kill him a couple of years ago, to take out Mel and Simon.

Bepe and yer woman with the bad haircut\wig (his ex-wife) get back together, much to the disgust of 'Samanfa' who finds comfort in the arms of Dan. The idea that first ex-wife is now going out with the man who shagged his second ex-wife causes Ricky to disappear for another month on a quest to 'find himself' and wonder what women *really* see in him.

Terry decides that he's denying his rage at Irene's infidelity and he's really *not* alright with it. He goes back on the drink and starts hitting her.

Mark's HIV status goes to full-blown AIDS status, at which point Lisa realises she really does love him. But alas, it is too late and she only admits it to him on his death bed.

After a tragic Panto season, Bianca comes back from 'Manchester' and interrupts Ricky's affair with that slapper-one that walked into the garage the other night.

After Frank and Peggy move out, Dan takes over the bar and starts to run it into the ground. He turns to 'Phiw' to help him out. 'Phiw' invests in the Queen Vic and we end up with two former alcoholics running the pub.

'Maffew' and 'Teraysa' return from Italy (with no sun-tan) and make Steve's life a living hell. 'Maffew' becomes the local thug, taking over from the 'Mitchew bruvvers'.

I could go on... http://www.p45.net/rant/smile.gif

[Joefuz]

But don't.
Eli, why are ye here dossing when ye could be over at the Beeb or Granada convincing them to pay you lots of money to write this stuff so the plebes watch the stuff?
Quit whining about all the IT crap and go become rich and, er, have your name come up under "Written by" at the end of Corrie.

[shaggy]

I would now like to kill Dev's "girlfriend" Billy Liar in Cornoation Street