Conchial plays doctor

[Conchial]

I delivered the latest in my succession of heirs on our bathroom floor last night.
An 8lb 15oz boy. He was in a bit of a hurry. Tired now.

[ArseBurger]

Congrats and well done that man!

[what the fug]

Well done , congrats to all


ps Who gets to clean up the mess

[Qu1zMaster]

Congrats and very well done!
How did you know what to do?

[Rowche Rumbler]

nice one.

[stretchneil]

Were you expecting to have a home-birth? Fuck me mate - fair play, and congrats!!

[Conchial]

Who gets to clean up the mess

That was an interesting part of the morning.
We had just bought those towels too.

How did you know what to do?

911 & Blackberry speaker phone.

[BlueChip]

Congrats and well done.

[Conchial]

Were you expecting to have a home-birth? Fuck me mate - fair play, and congrats!!


Eh, that would be a no.
I was downstairs working on filing a flight plan and I hear a moan from upstairs.
20 minutes later I had a little squirming young fella in my hands. Madness I tell ya.

[superfly]

fried placenta for breakfast?

[nigel slater's baby]

well done you and particularly to Mrs Conchial.

[Spanky]

Congratulations & well done that man!

[JoJo]

Wow.. congratulations to you both..

[Rob]

Congrats Conch and family, were you shitting it?

[ArseBurger]

Eh, that would be a no.
I was downstairs working on filing a flight plan and I hear a moan from upstairs.
20 minutes later I had a little squirming young fella in my hands. Madness I tell ya.

Did you get the flight plan in?

[scruff monkey]

Congrats Sir

[TheStifster]

Well done!

Not the placenta, the assisting.

[johnny_coffee]

Congrats Conch
That's a story to embarrass him later in life
good man

[krayZpaving]

Cognratulations, Conch!

[Conchial]

Congrats Conch and family, were you shitting it?

Fairly brikin it allright. That shit is pretty ..emm.. intense.

Did you get the flight plan in?

Bollox no , and now I am screwed on the trip anyway.
Who thinks I could get away with leaving on Sunday for a week ?

Well done!

Not the placenta, the assisting.

Assisting ! ?
Sure I did the whole thing meself.
The missus was useless altogether , all that moaning and groaning, didn't she know she was distracting me ?

Congrats Conch
That's a story to embarrass him later in life
good man

Hee hee , I've already made a start because the wife is letting me name him.
I cant wait to see these southerns bend their tongue around Cearbhall or Feidhlim ..hee hee.

[Biggyrotten]

Well done Conch and congrats to you both.

[ArseBurger]

Bollox no , and now I am screwed on the trip anyway.
Who thinks I could get away with leaving on Sunday for a week ?


One of the guys on my team apologised for having to take a week off work because his wife had a new baby. Nutter.

I told him not to come back for three weeks.

[BlueChip]

Hee hee , I've already made a start because the wife is letting me name him.
I cant wait to see these southerns bend their tongue around Cearbhall or Feidhlim ..hee hee.

Don't even think about cursing him for life by inflicting him with an Irish name.

I can see the song now. The boy named Cearbhall

[masterchief]

Well done that man.

Congrats to the family.

[Pilgrim]

In addition to congratulations might I also pay tribute to your nerves of steel by fessing up as to how completely rubbish I would have been had I been in your shoes.

PS. I agree with BlueChip about the Irish name.

[Biggyrotten]

Except if it's milsean or bainne

[Pógxsmuhowney Pohl]

Congrats. The only part I know about giving birth is that you need boiling water.

[ender]

Many congrats.

You do know that now you'll be blamed for the slightest infraction he ever gets himself into...

[MadScientist]

Nice catch, sir!! Congratulations to you and your expanding family.

[bear]

One of the guys on my team apologised for having to take a week off work because his wife had a new baby. Nutter.

I told him not to come back for three weeks.
How the world has changed...


Fair fecks to you Conch....

[Don Speekingleesh]

Well done the three of ye!

[X]

Congrats, Conch, fair balls to you.

Congrats. The only part I know about giving birth is that you need boiling water.

For what?

[Spanky]

Making the tea.

[ender]

Tut. For the packet of cuppa soup. While we're waiting.

[smcgiff]

Making the tea.

I thought boiling the water was just to keep the man busy and out of the way.

Well done that man. I'd have run kicking and screaming for the next door neighbour. I was too squimish to cut the UB cords.

That said - at least I wasn't put off sex for the rest of my life. :)

[Ida Lovett]

Well done there, Conchial.

Congratulations to you both and all the family.

When's the photo coming?

[MadScientist]

Congrats, Conch, fair balls to you.



For what?

For sterilising the towels.

[Busaras]

congratulations.....
on the upside no massive hospital bills

[JoJo]

So does her good self get away without darkening the doors of the hospital now?

I think I remember reading someplace that the men were sent off to boil the water to keep them out of the way or something.

What did the 911 people say? Was it a real medic on the phone or a callcentre operator reading from a prompt screen?

[Conchial]

The 911 lady was great , very clear with her instructions, knew what she was doing and without her it would have been a case of me looking up instructions on the interweb with the thinkpad in one hand and the chisslier in t'other. I do have one issue with her though.
She told me to get a shoelace to tie off the cord. The nearest shoes were my better work pair and now I have to find something else to wear.


I've to go off now and pick up the big brother.
Somehow I managed to get him to school for his first day today and then we are off en masse to the hospital for ooohhhing and ahhhing.




All I have is a crappy cell phone picture for now.
Bur here he is.

Malachy (after my grandfather)

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/2694/malachyxi3.jpg

[Conchial]

So does her good self get away without darkening the doors of the hospital now?

Nah , she'll be in for the night just to keep an eye (and run up an extortionate fee for the insurance company to pay)

[FuDeadlyD]

That is amazing - trust the prior off-spring didn't come so expediently?
Well done anyway, and congrats.

[Lori]

Wow Conchial that's fantastic. Congrats to you all.

[Boogie]

You are James Bond!

Well done!

[julia]

He's adorable, Conch. Amazing story. Congrats to all of you. Good thing you don't faint at the sight of blood.

[Eeeek]

Bloody hell Conch. Fair fucks to you dude! Just thinking about it makes me feel a little faint!

Congrats to you and your growing family!

[X]

In fairness, though, I have one criticism. You wasted a golden opportunity for a great thread title.

'My Wife Had A Little Shit In The Bathroom' would;ve been better.

Just saying, like.

[Pógxsmuhowney Pohl]

I faint at the sight of boiling water.

[JoJo]

They do say the Thinkpad is splashproof ;-)

Malachy's a great name. Well chosen.

[Pógxsmuhowney Pohl]

Poor Malachy will never live this down. I was a planned home delivery and went down in infamy by my nine siblings as the one who almost killed his mother. I can only imagine how farfetched the story might have gotten had it been on the bathroom floor.

[lalala]

Holy jeebus, well done, sir.
He's a cutie. Any more children and you'll be able to start your own town: Conchville.

[Rudy]

Mutheragawd! jaysus! Etc.

Well done, Conch, and Mrs Conch.

[Pete]

Congrats and fair play to you for handling the delivery so well.

Wishing you and your family many happy and noisy years together. :D

[Snoop]

What a lovely story.

Congrats to the Conch family

[Dell]

Well done Conch. Congratulations to the three of you.

[able locks]

well done conch - your stock of brownie points will go thru the roof.

is that 5 boys you have now?

congrats to you and mrs. conchial - Malachy is a fine name.

[joon]

Congratulations to all!

I'm getting on to Bus now to get your handle changed to MacGyver.

[stretchneil]

is that 5 boys you have now?

congrats to you and mrs. conchial - Malachy is a fine name.

A 5-a-side team of your own - how much fun would that be?! Next target - rugby sevens!!

And I agree - Malachy is a grand name. Once again, kudos to you sir.

[Rud Annamh]

...911 & Blackberry speaker phone.
Holy shit! Absolutely fantastic - well done to all.

And Malachy is a great name. Solid, cool, interesting, spellable (sp?).

[RockyRoader]

Good work, conch - well held!
Congrats to the lot of ye, and best of luck with the childhood/growing up thing, Malachy.

[murph2]

Wow! I'm very impressed. Congratulations on your new little one. Love the name.

[Bush Baby]

Mini Conchial at 14: I didn't ask to get born

Conchial: Damn but that's funny!

Well done Conch, that can't have been easy!

[Conchial]

Cheers, now if only the little fecker would get over this jaundice thing so we could bring him home all would be good. :(

[RockyRoader]

My late brother-in-law and his missus had planned a home birth.
They hadn't planned on Sean delivering the baby while the midwife was knocking on the door!

[Fancy]

Congrats Mr and Mrs Macgyver and bruvers! So poor little Malachy's got the jaundice, now that's no fun. A couple days under the lights and he'll be fine, though. He'll look like a little baked potato, and all his friends will call him Spud. God speed him home and extra hugs for brilliant nerve - Conch did the necessary and Mrs didn't panic!!

[harveythewonderhorse]

Just saw this thread, well done you, while I love Feidhlim, it's the name we gave the premature foal I was posting about here a while back and I'd always see the horse when you were talking about the child!!

[harveythewonderhorse]

Feidhlim the foal...

http://www.p45rant.net/boards/showthread.php?t=90601&highlight=foal

[angry mouse]

oh well done ! congrats to all, love his name

[Conchial]

congratulations.....
on the upside no massive hospital bills

You would have thought so. The hospital bills have been enormous. I think we were up to $4000.

And we just received two bills for $700 each for the ambulance.
The trip to the hospital (literally a 10 minute walk away) costs $700.

Which is all well and good, but they charged a full fare for the baby and one full fare for mommy. I guess he should have stayed in a little longer.

[Lanod]

Dude - just saw this thread - congrats. I would say it was a brilliant experience.