todays joke

[Busaras]

This boy takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her,

"Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy???!!!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor . . ."
"At this time of the night no one will show up."
"I've already said NO, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowjob . . . I know you like it too."
"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
"Baby . . . don't be like that."

At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with hair a mess, rubbing her eyes and says . . .
"Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come down and blow the guy himself, but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom."

[red]

....except that that's not how intercoms work, you have to be hitting the button on the inside to be listening to what's going on outside....but aside from that, BRAVO!

[Emphel]

Red, Red, Red. http://www.p45.net/rant/confused.gif

[Joefuz]

Blue.

[Busaras]

i reckon red is a mr spock type - logical to the extreme, dissecting jokes when shes not dissecting men http://www.p45.net/rant/wink.gif

[red]

Apart from the ears I'm nothing like Mr Spock...

[Joefuz]

So ye have big pointy ears, and look like that Pippy Longstocking one?

[schez]

'Scuse me, but *I* am The Dissector around here.

[Jiffyboy]

This 92 year old man moved into a retirement home where he immediately met this 90 year old woman. They hit it off right away. After a few weeks of spending time together, the man said, "You know, we're past our sexual years, so I wonder if it would be okay for you to just hold my penis in your hand."

The woman seemed surprised, but she agreed. So for the next three weeks, they could be found on a park bench near a lake, and she was always holding the man's penis in her
hand.

One day the old man didn't show up. Beginning to worry, the lady set out in search of him. A few blocks away, sitting on another park bench was the old man .... with another woman!!

The first old lady approached the couple and saw the other woman holding the man's penis in her hand. She became very upset and yelled to the man, "I thought we had something special. Now, I find you with another woman, and she's holding your penis in her hand. What does she have that I don't
have???"

The old man looked up, smiled, and said "Parkinson's".

[Emphel]

LOL Jiffyboy http://www.p45.net/rant/smile.gif

My outlook is on the blink again so here is a crappy ole one:
There were three hookers discussing the price of blowjobs. They were all from the same family: a grandma, a mother, and a girl.

The girl said, "I've just raised the price for my blow jobs to £25.00."

Her mother replied, "Before I retired, the highest price I charged was £10.00."

The grandma looked at both of them, shook her head, and said, "I can remember when we were just thankful to have something warm in our stomachs."

[Scorpion]

Eewww!

[Emphel]

Scorpion you implied differently yesterday http://www.p45.net/rant/wink.gif

[Ringo]

An Offaly boy and his father were visiting a mall in the big schmoke. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What the feck is tha'?"

The father (never having seen a LIFT) responded, " I've never seen anything like tha' in me life. I don't know what the Jasus i' is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat ugly Westmeath woman walked up to the moving
walls and pressed a button.The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his goggle eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,

"Go get your Ma."